Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
