OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
In America we eat man semen.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
