There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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