he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
