If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
