Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
