Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
