Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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