thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
