Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
