everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
