The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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