So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
