I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
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I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
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Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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