and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
