Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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