Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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