I need help removing her.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
