Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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