I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
