I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
