ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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