8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Sober January is a disaster.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
