I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
