nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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