i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize