i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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