the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
