DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
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After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
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my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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