Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
