It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
