I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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