I faked an abortion last night.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
