It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize