i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
ok first of all what the fuck
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
