I wish I could teleport
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
