my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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