i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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