Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
