Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she looked like the before picture.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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