I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
