Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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