I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize