I wish I could teleport
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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