I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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