And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
At least life still wants to fuck me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
