there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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