ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
