Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
