she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
