I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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