mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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