And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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