Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm at about main and main street
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
