dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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