Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
