Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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