Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
