Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
