Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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