At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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