I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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