my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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