even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
