She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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