i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
