He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
