I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
