I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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