So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
