you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
