I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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