And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
time to smoke my breakfast
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
