so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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