so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
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he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
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Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I have fence marks all over my body
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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